A posse of friends – ‘the international crew’ as I call these guys – huddled together the other night for a “virtual” dinner party.
A colleague at work suggested sharing thoughts and tips…
With these odd weeks we’re all living in, this proved a lot of fun, and way easier to host than a full day of cooking and dinner table setting…Only P.S. is that my NorCal margarita was so good that my after dinner sipping tequila turned into a quarter-bottle of consumption (I noticed the next morning…).
Just as IRL, pretty hard to get everyone smile-time perfect…
What really made our little gathering great was seeing no change to the way we all get excited to show up, to trade jokes and jibes…and sensitive moments. And after a few drinks…to laugh and get laughed at.
To have loud peeps and quieter folks.
It was all the same…:)
So, here are my pointers. Because, In Virtual Life how you host is as important as In Real Life.
* 6 – 8 people is probably ideal…IRL, the table often ends up dividing or splitting into pairs for parts of an evening, when more than 8 or so. Zoom dining, this is even harder to manage… and like any good dinner party IRL, it adds much to invite at least one or two people that are new to the gang.
* Just as IRL, use a rolling start time: “7 for 7.30” (is that a Euro or British thing?). This nicely allows for people pulling in gradually. The prompt arrivers enjoy smaller group conversations, a more relaxed hello with the host…and the late arrive to a nice cackle of a party already rolling…TIP: As soon as you see someone arrive, jump in and welcome them and offer a compliment. You might have to interrupt and keep the lead as host, all the more so than IRL…
* Cocktails!: in the invite, direct that each guest should arrive with an elaborate cocktail, and be ready to describe it and its in ingredients in immense detail…as if off the menu of a Portland hipster joint.
* What to have on the Menu: our host had no guideline on this, people seemed to have an appetizer with their cocktail and then dropped away to get their main, which worked well. But prescribing a recipe or dish would have been a lot of fun, and a great talking point (…or question point – see below).
* Your camera set-up: the mix of backgrounds was as much a talking point as the Cocktails. Tip: get it set up properly before-hand so you don’t make everyone dizzy with adjustments…one of our gang had a wonderful State Ballroom Zoom background and I framed my table place with a tequila bottle on one side and a candle on another. Apparently looked a little Halloween…
* Conversation: As host, you have to lead and direct…assertive sometimes and with gentle nudges at other times. And, a rule of life IRL and virtual is that questions unlock conversation. This was the biggest revelation and reminder of the evening…TIP: suggest having two or three “round the table” questions for the main course, to make sure everyone is getting involved. Mix up the light and the meatier 😉 If you’re really good, ask each person to send a meaty question ahead of time, and use these. You could even read them all out, and vote on which to start with (or invite a techie to sort out an Upvoting plug-in). And, have some light-hearted rapid fire questions up your sleeve if it gets too heavy on something and to pull the quieter guest back to the talk-screen. Consider this fantastic practice for panel moderation too…see Dave’s famous Forum notes on this / ask me for a copy!
* Dress: don’t wear black! It’s just too heavy, in these times, we need a little color and jazz more than ever. I’ve read a few places this week that just like the phone, the screen needs us all to be a little more lively and dramatic in our intonation and use of pause (and killing of those verbal ticks and brain-farts).
* Wrapping up: have an end time that “gives people permission to leave”. Or signal a time at that is “leave the table for the sofa” time. With people holding a camera and a drink on a soft chair, you get to see where their heads are at 😉 Dining Room to the Lounge for those that enjoy lingering on for a digestif…and just as IRL, there’s no end time to the sofa session…or the kitchen after-party…
